Unk Location, Monte, 019

Monte was a psychedelic mixture of conflicting attributes. He could be kind, but nasty. Selfish, but generous. Hilarious, but frank. Engaging, but boorish. Caring, but aloof.

Physically speaking, he was never a large, imposing figure, though, in many ways, strong in the more important qualities of a man.

His health was certainly impeded by his use of tobacco, alcohol and a lack of exercise. Though he liked to provoke, his provocations dealt more with ideas of debate, culture and philosophy, while not those of hate or violence. Lacking in physical imposition did not mean Monte was with fear or without courage.

Other than the metaphorical nemesis of the war on nature by man, Monte did have a human nemesis in possession of the most deplorable qualities that could ever be found in a man.

Monte, lounging Big Lake 174

One night, when Monte was near the age of 65 or so, and imbibing in a local watering hole, his nemesis, a much healthier man, 20 years his junior, sat across the horseshoe shaped bar from him.

Monte, certainly goaded on by the consumption of spirits, started to blow kisses and make mocking gestures toward his nemesis. Through the evening, when Monte would have to use the bathroom, he would have to walk by this ignorant behemoth and when doing so, would make lip smacking kiss noises when walking by.  Knowing the atavistic mind of this reprehensible being could not tolerate such slights to his feeble, self-perceived, masculinity, Monte’s nemesis grew angrier and angrier, until, in a false sense of bravado, invited Monte, a frail in body, senior citizen, to step outside the bar and settle their differences like “men.”

Now, some may think Monte may have deserved such invitation, but sincerely, even more deserving, is that this nemesis, for years of brutality towards others, deserved such open ridicule and many would argue, even more so than this.

To the shock of the others in the tavern, on unsteady legs, Monte stood up, walked to the door and held it open for the more youthful cretin in a show of sarcastic act of disrespectful courtesy toward the unknowing younger man.

They went outside and in terms of certainty in prevailing in a bar fight with an old man, the younger of the two men told Monte he would gladly “give him the first shot.”

Not out of politeness, but instead out of fox-like cunning, Monte declined. He told his despicable opponent he would have to be the one to take the first shot to start the brawl and went on to describe to this bereft of intelligent thought bully what he really thought of him – all of it truly deserving.

Monte’s younger foe replied, “Monte, I’m giving you the first shot because when I hit you back, it’ll be so hard it’ll kill you.”

Monte replied, “Well, you’re going to have to start this, besides, you known where hitting me first will get you, right?”

The Nemesis, “Where?”

Monte replied, “In prison, you dumb son of bitch.”

And so ended that night’s cowardly attempted take down by Monte’s nemesis.

Unk Loc, Monte, with ducktails, playing cards, Mom's photos081